age two and a half

Age two and a half is filled with contradictions. One moment we are happy and bubbly, the next a puddle of tears soaking up the floor. One moment we are confident and self-assured, the next fearful of every new thing. In one turn we are polite and courteous, in another demanding and bossy. One moment we express feelings with words, the next we are screaming at the top of our lungs and just can't....stop....crying. Age two and a half is like a rollercoaster - with very high highs, and very fast and dramatic descents.

To say that the past month has been difficult would be an understatement. Paired with the typical highs and lows that accompany age 2 and a half, Anna's world has been tipped upside down with the addition of her baby brother. While she loves him dearly, she has also learned that she must share attention, toys, time, people and more with this little man. This part is not so easy.

At age two and a half I fully expect to have to remind Anna to use her manners, to slow down and stop running, to use her inside voice, to stop jumping, to speak nicely to her friends, to listen, and more. I even expect that I will have to do this repeatedly throughout the day, every day. Perhaps I didn't expect to need to do it quite so many times each day, but even that I can take in stride most of the time.

What I don't have a strategy for is the unexpected. What do you do when your daughter screams in the backyard of a neighbor's home on the very top of her lungs "YOU GET BAAAACK HEEEERE MOOOOMMY!" when I start to walk away after several calm attempts to get her to come home? What do you do when the response to asking your daughter to do something (several times calmly) is met with "NO, I won't do it! Not EVER!"?

I don't know where she is learning to talk this way. We do not talk that way in our home, nor do our friends. Is this just her exerting her independence? Or is this overt disrespect? Perhaps both. Regardless, I am at a loss.

It's not as if every moment is like this...there are many good and fun moments too. Watching her learn to ride her trike, and celebrating her triumphs with her. Answering her fun questions like "Is that outer space mommy (pointing to the sky)? Can I go there?", "How does that work? Why?" and "Tell me about God mommy". Singing silly songs and dancing around the room. Hugs and kisses galore. There are many, many of these moments too.

But it's those others that are wearing me out. While I am handling those moments the best that I can, I don't feel like what I am doing is working. I know that perhaps this is normal - that testing limits, exerting independence and beginning to understand and test authority are indeed stages that children go through. I just want to make sure that when she comes out on the other end of this that she understands what is acceptable behavior and what is not, and how to channel her emotions into positive things.

Any suggestions? Any good books? All you moms & dads out there, I would love your ideas...