age three

I can't say I wasn't warned. I can't say I wasn't warned often. Yet I still find myself caught off-guard with this new phase we are in. At age 3 we are in the middle of unpredictable mood swings, wild tempers, fierce independence, unrelenting negotiations and a whole lot of other things I cannot find the words to describe. New behaviors surface each day. Yelling. Hitting. Stomping. Flailing. Pounding.

Anna: I don't like you mommy, but I love you.
Me: Anna, I know you don't know what that means. I like you AND I love you.
Anna: No mommy! I don't like you. I love you. Just love you.

Me: Anna, you know the rules. If you do _____ (fill in the blank) one more time, you will get a time-out.
Anna: That's ok mommy. I can have a time-out. I'll do it again.

Me: Why is Emmett crying?
Anna: Because I knocked him over.
Me: Did you do that on purpose Anna?
Anna: Yes.
Me: Why did you do that?
Anna: I don't know.

Our rules are basic. For example: Use your inside voice in the house. Couches are for sitting on, they are not trampolines. Hands are not for hitting. Hugs are gentle, they should not hurt. And yet there are days when I have literally exhausted my arsenol of consequences, finding that not a single one has managed to steer the behavior in another direction. Let me tell you...this is exhausting.

Don't get me wrong, there is joy in age 3. Imagination run wild. Conversations that have me laughing for many days to follow. Questions that perplex me. Social interactions that are so cute your heart feels like it just might burst.

But I wasn't prepared for the flip side of this age. I don't want to be a "NO!" mom. I don't want to be a "yeller". Alas, I find myself there more often than I'd like, frustrated with her behavior and equally so with my inability to deal with it effectively. Being a parent is no easy job, I am reminded daily.

I read books that describe these behaviors and why they occur. I read about strategies on how to diffuse the tense situations. I solicit advice from my husband and other moms. I pray for guidance and patience. I pray for lots of patience. Because I know that while we may be up to our eyeballs in tears and tantrums...smiles and sunshine are right around the corner.


Some days it's just easier to get there than others.