this 'n that

My internal clock is all messed up.

Part of my body, the pregnant part, feels like time is creeping by. As each day passes and my pregnancy reaches the stage where things are no longer comfortable nor easy, the hours in the day can stretch out before me.

And then the other part of me listens as my daughter tells her favorite check-out guy at Target (Mr. Shaun) that she is going to be a princess for Halloween and "Look! Isn't this so pretty?!" holding up her costume complete with tiara, I feel that time is moving so quickly that if I even blink once I am going to miss something very important.

This juxtaposition of feelings is leaving me, well, weepy - for lack of a better word.

If you haven't heard from me in awhile, I apologize. I haven't been readily accessible by phone or email. My mornings are full - flitting from one activity to another with a very active toddler. We have fun, we laugh, it has truly been a great start to the fall. But by the afternoon my energy stores are at zero and I struggle with nausea, heartburn, overall discomfort and exhaustion. For the past few weeks I have not been able to stay awake past 7:30 or 8pm. While this likely is just the result of a growing baby and the care/chasing of a toddler, I do plan to discuss this with my doctor on Friday. Perhaps there is a vitamin I am lacking?

And while my very patient husband bears the brunt of my moaning during these evening hours, I am trying to keep the complaints at bay for the majority of the day as I am surrounded by loved ones who would give anything to be pregnant carrying a healthy baby. I know my discomforts are well-worth the blessing that is to come.

The good thing is, my distractions are many!

Anna and I are full-swing into her fall activities and she is loving it. We still make it to a park nearly every day, and her favorite new activity is ECFE (Early Childhood Family Education). We attend every Wednesday morning for nearly 2 hours and it is the highlight of her week. I must admit that I too am enjoying it more than any of our other paid-for activities. We get to play together, do art projects together, and I get an opportunity to discuss parenting topics and learn from other parents. I am so happy we are doing this together.

Anna is also busy learning new skills each week. We are working on many social skills - how to express excitement and frustration being the biggest. With a big personality and strong feelings these 2 emotions tip the scales and sometimes bring out behaviors that are not desirable. Together we are learning how to channel this energy.

We have worked some new routines into our day as well. In the mornings Anna is allowed to watch "a show" (Dora or Mickey Mouse) while I shower or get her things together for the day. This gives us both some time to prepare for the fun hours ahead. In the evenings after her bath, Anna joins me in Steve and I's bedroom where we cuddle and read books for the 30 mins or so before it's time to retire to her bed. This is proving to be a great way to wind down before going to sleep.

In the midst of all of my days I am often caught off-guard with the realization that in less than 4 months time we will have another little one to care for, another little one to love. While Anna prepares for this by playing with her dolls and talking about "baby Moses", I have sewn a little fleece jacket for the new baby and am beginning some burp rags (I love my new sewing machine!). I am very excited, but at the same time I am very cognizant of the few days left where Anna will be the only child, the only grandchild, the only niece or nephew. Big big change lies ahead not only for Steve and I, but for our little Anna as well. I am both excited and sad for what these changes will mean for her.

And then I get weepy all over again.